Confrontation, yuck, who needs it?

At the top of the list of the most hated things to do in a relationship, is confrontation.  Usually, most people do not like to confront, because most of us feel as if we are declaring war on the relationship if we say how we feel.  However, without confrontation, you may not have a relationship.  Relationships that are built only on the good times are shallow in nature, and show little respect for both parties. In most relationships there is a dominate personality, and it is that personality that creates the issues and demands entitlement.  Most people give in because they don't want to confront the bad behavior and risk all the hassles of of aftermath drama. These personalities are definitely the ones most gossip and complaining are about, but my advise to those who are doing all the gripping?  Put up with your frustration and shut up. Don't bother the rest of us with all your drama about people you are not willing to confront. Here is a great saying....write it down.

You can not correct what you are unwilling to CONFRONT!

If you are unwilling to step up to the plate and confront the offender, then you really shouldn't have the right to complain to the rest of us.  I get tired of all the belly aching and gossip about situations when the person complaining is not willing to confront the issues.  

Confrontation should be a course in every school, and seminary in the nation.  When, where, and how to confront those who are creating a nuisance, or division, or personal discomfort in your life.  Some spouses get confronted everyday about things that don't matter, and is a nuisance in itself, but I am not talking about people nit picking on personal habits, I am talking about issues that matter.

So what are some examples of what matters.

• Employment issues
• Theological disception
• Leadership abuse
• Lack of Integrity
• Dishonesty in relationships/lying
• Narcissic abuse
• Dishonoring issues
• Discrimination of race or gender
• Distrust and loyalty issues
• Political correctness issues 
• Morality issues

The list could go on and on as you can see, but there are issues that affect you personally and afflict many people who are connected to the issues.  Confrontation doesn't have to be negative, it can also be constructive.  If I care about someone, my responsibility is to tell them the truth, and not be politically correct and be silent.  

The Church for too long has been silent on issues it needs to confront.  The Church loses more of its soul everytime it fails to tell people the truth and stand firm defending it. Moral issues are the easiest to defend because we have the support of the Bible, yet many moral issues aren't even talked about because it would cause people to feel uncomfortable. We don't teach each other on how to tell the truth in love, we teach people how not to offend, so don't say anything. Or, we get so worked up over issues, that the confrontation isn't constructive, it's just anger that has been stored up. Jesus confronted repeatedly, whether it was Peter in his hypocritical behavior or it was to the Pharisees in Matthew 23, He was straight forward and honest in His confrontation.

If you are suffering in silence about issues, ask God to give you courage, wisdom, and strength to do what is right.  Remember you will never change anything unless you are willing to confront. 

Keeping it honest and truthful...K

Matthew 23  25 “Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For  you clean the outside of the cup and the plate, but inside they are full of  greed and self-indulgence.  26You blind Pharisee! First clean the inside of  the cup and the plate, that the outside also may be clean.

James 5:12 12But above all, my brothers, do not swear, either by heaven or by earth or by any other oath, but let your “yes” be yes and your “no” be no, so that you may not fall under condemnation.