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When the Foundations are Destroyed

Author Kay S. Hymowitz from an except from the book “This Way Up” writes:” The waning of the two-parent family has weakened American society and left it vulnerable to a host of ills: poverty, declining economic mobility, the crisis in the white working class, men dropping out of the labor force, school achievement gaps, child abuse, crime, and racial, gender, and economic inequality. The nation's epidemic of fractured homes has helped inflame all these problems to seemingly intractable crisis levels. 

So what can policymakers do to encourage young Americans to commit to marriage before they have children and improve the stability of their unions? Trivial as it may seem to many in the policy world, the battle should start with an unapologetic social marketing campaign that drives home the importanceof stable, long-term marriage for both children and communities.”

Kay S. Hymowitz is the William E. Simon Fellow at the Manhattan Institute and contributing editor at City Journal. 

I don’t know much about the author, but she writes with a great deal of insight. It seems that more and more people today are writing about how divorce, fatherlessness and single parenting are not virtues of society, they simply weaken a nation from within. God has set the standard for a strong economy, a strong educational system, and a strong character building process which all evolves around the family. Fatherlessness, single parented homes, and divorce build into systems that become dependant upon society for their support. 

Research has concluded that single parented homes are more likely to have less time and less money to raise their children.

Single-parent households have less money and less time for children. To be sure, many single parents are heroic, but it’s a struggle. Studies tell us “that children raised by single parents are significantly more likely to have children young, to drop out of high school, and to work less as young adults,” write sociologist W. Bradford Wilcox of the University of Virginia and Isabel Sawhill of the Brookings Institution.

Other research indicated there are four main factors that contribute to poverty.

Using data on individuals from 29 countries, they calculated the “prevalence” in each country of four phenomena often tied to poverty — single motherhood, unemployment, having a young head of household, and having low education.     -National Review Robert Verbruggen 

The U. S. Department of Health and Family services have put together a list of what they found to be characteristics of healthy families. Here is that list. 

Based on various assumptions about what a strong family does, researchers have developed lists of structural and behavioral attributes that characterize successful families. In spite of differences in discipline and perspective, there seems to be a consensus about the basic dimensions of a strong, healthy family. The following constructs, which are often interrelated and complex, will be identified, defined, and described briefly as they exist in strong, healthy families:

  • Communication
  • Encouragement of individuals
  • Expressing appreciation
  • Commitment to family
  • Religious/spiritual orientation
  • Social connectedness
  • Ability to adapt
  • Clear roles
  • Time together

So much of these healthy characteristics come from healthy families and the interaction between the members of that family. In the degeneration of family structure, most of these elements are missing. God’s structure for a healthy society always had the family at its foundation. Verses like the following reveal why society is in such a mess because we have not supported the family. 

Proverbs 11:29 Whoever brings ruin on their family will inherit only wind, and the fool will be servant to the wise.

Many millennials have allowed their culture to replace the role that parents and grandparents play in their lives. Advice and counsel now comes from others and from social media sites rather than the insights from within the family. We have noticed that once the matriarch and patriarch of the family have passed away, the connection to our siblings were never the same.   

From an article from the International The News states how a family torn by the destructive forces of divorce affects the children.  

After a divorce, children from pre-school through late adolescence can experience deficits in emotional development.

Slowed academic development is another common way that separation of the parents affects children. The emotional stress of a divorce alone can be enough to stunt your child’s academic progress.

Divorce affects children’s social relationships in several ways. Some children act out their distress about their broken family by acting aggressively and by engaging in bullying behavior, both of which can negatively affect peer relationships.

Family dynamics
By its very nature, divorce changes not only the structure of the family but also its dynamics. Even if you and your spouse have an amicable divorce, simply creating two new households permanently alters family interactions and roles.

Anytime a family is pulled apart and destroyed for any reason the consequences are greater than what society wants to admit. God says He hates divorce because He knows when you tamper with the structure of the family you tamper with the DNA of society. 

Malachi 2:16 

For I hate divorce,” says the Lord, the God of Israel, “and him who covers his garment with wrong,” says the Lord of hosts. “So take heed to your spirit, that you do not deal treacherously.”

When you tamper with the family, you are dealing treacherously against God. 

Dealing treacherously with God probably will not go well for you. 

Keeping it honest and truthful…K 

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