I have learned through my own failings that it is easy to judge. Recently, I listened to a friend whose life is riddled with failure and heartache. Marriages that were not successful and children who are estranged. He told me the story of how one of his wives was sexually assaulted starting at the age of six and continually through her teenage years. It was evident from looking back on her life that she never recovered from those early years of sexual abuse.
I realized while listening to his story that so often we are unaware of people’s backstories, and are quick to pass judgment without asking about the story. I have to say here that backstories do not excuse continual bad adult behavior, but it gives us pause to perhaps dial back any judgement we have passed upon to them. Christians are quick to judge people and do not show mercy, mainly because they don’t know the backstory. That backstory holds a lot of information that could prove valuable as to why someone acted the way they did. That backstory is one of the most valuable pieces of missing information you can get, but not all people are willing to share it. That is the other reason we are to be quick to listen … listen for the opportunity to ask about the backstory. Another friend of mine worked for many years in the sex trafficking world and she told me that the majority of the prostitutes they worked with were women who were sexually abused as children. Here is a report from the Department of Justice on the ‘backstories’ of prostitutes:
Results documented high levels of victimization of these street prostitutes both before and after their entrance into prostitution: 60 percent were sexually exploited as juveniles by an average of two males each. Over an average of 20 months, each abuser assaulted the child an average of two or three times. Victims ranged in age from three to 16 at the time of victimization; and two-thirds had been sexually abused by a father or surrogate. The average abuser was in his 30s, and alcohol or drug involvement was reported by 58 percent of subjects. In 81 percent of cases, physical force, emotional coercion, or both were used. The vast majority of subjects lost their virginity through sexual exploitation. Some of the other issues prostitutes face are: “Documented concentration and memory difficulties, as well as sleep problems 79%, irritability 64%, anxiety 60%, phobias 26%, panic attacks 24%, and other compulsions 37%.” These stats are coupled with a negative effect on self-esteem, expressed as low self-worth.
The backstory of many of these women comes from sexual assault(s) at an early age. No matter how many times we hear about the stories of people and the horrendous events that transpired in their lives, we simply don’t stop and ask ourselves why. I realize that knowing the why isn’t a solution in itself, but it might create a reason to pause and apply mercy to the person we are apt to judge.
The Scripture teach us that all the paths of the Lord are merciful and faithful. (Psalm 25:10) What that means is God already knows our backstory, and I believe He applies mercy to our lives. That does not mean He excuses us from continuing bad behavior based upon the past, but it is His kindness that leads us to salvation. (Romans 2:4) The beauty of His mercy is that He accepts us just as we are, and removes our sins … past, present, and future … from us, as far as the east is from the west. He restores us to complete wholeness and heals our stripes from past experiences including sexual abuse.
No child should be exploited … it is a sin against the innocence of God’s creation. Jesus even said:
Matthew 18:6 Whoever causes one of these little ones who believe in Me to sin, it would be better for him if a millstone were hung around his neck, and he were drowned in the depth of the sea.
I believe this applies to all children, both those in the womb and those who are born. This was a stern warning from Jesus to people who are the perpetrators and enemies of innocence. Satan is a perpetrator and the influencer of destroying the innocence of children, and he will use anyone who is weak morally and spiritually to carry out his destruction.
Society has such a low threshold of moral values, and we are not willing to elevate the abuse of children to a place of ‘crimes against humanity.’ That was the term defined by the Rome Statute of the International Criminal Court. The International Criminal Court (ICC) investigates and tries individuals charged with crimes against humanity. Here are some of the categories of crimes defined as crimes against humanity:
Murder
Enslavement
Torture
Rape, sexual slavery, and other forms of sexual violence
Persecution based on race, ethnicity, nationality, religion, gender, or other grounds
Enforced disappearance
Apartheid
Other inhumane acts that cause serious injury or great suffering
All of these crimes are committed against children through sexual abuse, and all perpetrators should be elevated to a status of public enemy number one. The DNA of sin is to infiltrate all generations, infecting every society with its poison, and to rob, steal, and destroy lives. This is the motivation and of character of Satan. The backstory of abuse is not an excuse, but insight into how children are robbed of the innocence of childhood for the sake of adult gratification.
All backstories need the miracle of Jesus, to save, heal, and reconfigure a life in honoring God.
Challenging the Culture with Truth … Larry Kutzler