The Hardness of Heart
- Larry Kutzler
- Dec 17, 2025
- 3 min read
There are things in life that happen that can harden our hearts. This hardening is usually brought on by the catalyst of a tragedy or disappointment.
I have noticed something about divorce … in most cases, it hardens the heart. I realize that divorce is the tearing apart of two souls that were once as one. Furthermore, the aftermath has some negative consequences … namely the hardening of the heart. I have worked with people whose lives changed drastically following a divorce, including a rebound relationship that can quickly turn into incompatibility. Divorce rates for second marriages are 60-70% and third time divorces is 70-74% … so compatibility doesn’t get better, it gets worse. The hardness of heart is a fatal condition that can impact how you know God. The Prophet Ezekiel tells us that God can take a hard heart and make it soft and tender again. This new heart is responsive … not only to the Lord, but in forgiving an ex-spouse. ~Larry Kutzler, Facebook Post
Divorce is like a death. It is the death of a commitment, with the promise of living life together, raising the children and the future prospect of grandkids. All is gone if divorce happens. Yet, as tragic as all the losses are, the most tragic is the hardening of a heart. I know a family where the daughter of a divorced couple hasn’t spoken to her dad in over three years, with no reconciliation in sight. When the heart hardens it becomes a wall, a wall that is impenetrable. No amount of convincing or counseling will bring that wall down. The only hope we have against the bitterness of a hard heart is God.
Ezekiel 36:26 I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh.
This was spoken to Israel by the Prophet Ezekiel, but the principle of hardness can be applied to individuals who cannot forgive. Personally, the greatest sickness in our nation today is ‘unforgiveness.’ Anger, bitterness, and resentment rule in the hearts of our leaders and our people. We have developed no capacity to live out forgiveness. Unforgiveness is the cause of anyone with a hardened heart, and there is no remedy for it outside of God. Without God there is no remedy.
No nation will ever recover from the hardness and bitterness found in the soul of a nation without God’s help. Hardness that is derived from racism, political hatred, divisions and cultural differences cannot be resolved without God. This applies to individuals as well. As individuals the issues that harden our hearts, are experiences such as Church hurt, family divisions, divorce, children who reject parents, negativity and tragedies of all natures.
With a hardened heart, nothing can be normal, there will always be tension, resentment, and bitterness. Furthermore, any person who is always critical is someone who has a hardened heart. Again, only God can take the hardness away, and replace it with a heart of flesh, lived out in tenderness, forgiveness, and understanding. Hardness will bring death to your life, it is a cancer of the soul, and left unattended it will kill the heart toward knowing God.
Lord, give us a heart of flesh and take away the hardness of heart that has begun in me. Amen.
Challenging the Culture with Truth … Larry Kutzler