
I realize that there is a time for war. When nations have a greed for more, their desire is to expand their control over others. Their hatred for other ethnicities gets out of control, and then you have war. Yet, those who are least likely to go to war are those who will suffer the most from war. I think of all the innocent families who are the victims of war, whose losses are never replaceable and they will suffer for the remainder of their lives. Jesus said there would be wars and rumors of wars prior to His return. It is because of the condition of the human heart. Jeremiah defines why we have wars:
Jeremiah 17:9 The human heart is the most deceitful of all things, and desperately wicked. Who really knows how bad it is?
War is the by-product of what is in our hearts. Jesus said:
Matthew 15:19 For from the heart come evil thoughts, murder, adultery, all sexual immorality, theft, lying, and slander.
This tells us about the source of war, evil, and the aggression of self-importance. If a collective group of people live together with these characteristics that drive their lives, it’s no wonder we have wars. Plus, war is not only between nations. We have wars in our relationships and we even have wars with ourselves.
A war is always going on in our relationships. Jesus said the character of our heart is what fuels these wars with people. We have people at work, in our home, in our friendships where these heart characteristics drive their motives. Is it any wonder that narcissism is so rampant in our culture today?
Jeremiah has the best description of the human heart … it is wicked and incurable. That says it all. Granted, we all make mistakes, but how we recover from those mistakes reveals what is in our heart. Let me illustrate. The heart will always protect itself. If it lies … it covers up. If it offends … it never apologizes. If it wounds … it is never responsible. During my career in the church, I can tell you numerous times of being wounded by those on a church staff or in a ministry. I am not complaining, I’m simply drawing an illustration from my own experience. When we live in the vacuum of I do no wrong, we are living to protect our pride. The insensitivity of what we say or do to others is an act of protecting what is in our heart. I have been lied to, slandered, and hurt by the insensitivity of my peers whose motives were driven by a heart filled with the wrong attributes. Never did I receive an apology nor shown a kind concern.
Here is what I believe is good practice when it comes to being wounded in a relationship war:
What was the reason for my participation?
What was my contribution?
What should I have done differently?
If our hearts are filled with God’s Word, and are submitting to the Holy Spirit for guidance, our response will always lead to forgiveness. Forgiveness will reset the focus to restoration. All relationship wars that are not handled correctly, will lead to bitterness and apathy.
The last war is probably the most difficult to fight … it is the war within yourself. It is the war about meaning, purpose, and identity. This war can go on for a lifetime and never be won. I have peers who are in their 70s who are no further along in understanding themselves than they were back in high school. Even within the Church, people struggle with identity, purpose, and meaning. People hate to admit they have no clue about the meaning of life. They shrug it off with a casual does it really matter? Well, yes, it does matter. We bounce around between spouses and houses, yet never find the satisfaction we had hoped we would find. The reason satisfaction cannot be found is that nothing on earth can feed the soul. There are plenty of pleasures that can feed the flesh, but there is only one source to feed the soul and that is God. You feed it by the very Word of God:
Matthew 4:4 It is written, man does not live by bread alone, but by every Word that comes from the mouth of God.
God is needed to feed the soul, and if the soul is starving, the person will never be at rest, and the war within will continue. The Apostle Paul said the war within us is a war between our nature and the nature of God:
Romans 7:23 But there is another power within me that is at war with my mind. This power makes me a slave to the sin that is still within me.
War is tragic, and the victims even more so. Nations are victims, relationships are victims, and we are a victim. God said sin is the cause of war, and only God can deal with sin. Sin drives the nations, drives relationships, and drives the person, and only God can destroy the sin:
Romans 6:23 For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life through Christ Jesus our Lord.
It all comes down to your choice … at war, or at peace.
Challenging the Culture with Truth … Larry Kutzler