I woke up one day and realized that Jesus was real, I felt I knew Him in a personal way, but I was wondering if I knew the Holy Spirit in the same manner. Oh, I know the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit are one, but they are also three persons in one, they reveal themselves differently to us. So, I went on a quest to know the Holy Spirit personally. So, how do you do that? Well, I thought if I could ask Him to help change me in areas I need help with, He would become my coach, and we could get close. It worked.
I made this experience public on my Facebook page for two weeks. In that time, my Coach, I called Him my Coach, made me realize I was deficient in seven areas. I am sure He was being kind because I know I am lacking in a lot more than seven areas. Let me share what He said to me.
My reactions were far from His standard expectations. He pointed out that I am a hothead, and when I see injustice or issues of evil, I go ballistic. I am too quick to respond, only to learn later that my reactions were unmerited and unnecessary. He said I ran more on my opinion than I did relying on His Word. Now, that was hard to hear. I have always prided myself on thinking I was a great example of living out God's Word in my life. Well, my Coach was kind, but zeroed in and showed me my reactions were my insecurities coming out in a flash of a moment. Okay, guilty as charged. Now I am learning to let some time and space settle in before reacting in such an explosive and opinionated way.
So, I thought, one change wasn’t too bad. Oh wait … there were more. The second change He pointed out was how I engaged with mercy. He pointed out that I was living with a low mercy count. I tend to be more of a pull yourself up by your bootstraps person, not realizing that many people can’t even find the bootstraps. My quick judgments about people or situations were not completely right, and often I find myself feeling foolish by the comments I made. My Coach reminded me about God’s mercy, and how I was not deserving of it because of how I have lived. Yet, God gave me mercy and He showed me how mercy can be applied to have a new day filled with do-overs, to start again. That is what mercy does … it allows us to remake what we made wrong. Boy, was that a poke in the eye. Yet, how can I argue with the Coach, He sees right through me.
Okay, two changes, still not too bad. However, the Coach said, "How are you at letting things go?" I said, "Like forgiveness?", and He said yes, like letting things go. Well, I knew right then, that He had me pegged. He saw that forgiveness comes hard for me, primarily because I want to get even with those who have wronged me. It's probably a competitive thing where I have to get back at them, or at least try. The Coach reminded me that my sins were all forgiven by God, and He wasn't interested in getting even with me. I just melted. How can I even argue against that? I am not even going to try. Boom. Mic drop.
Then my Coach nailed me on my lack of patience. He reminded me how impatient I am in everything. In my driving, in my expectations of others, in waiting to open Christmas presents, everything is subject to my impatience. Nothing escapes my impatience, and the Coach reminded me that we need patience as we wait on God for all kinds of things starting with answering our prayers. By now I am beginning to feel like, “How will I ever overcome all of these things I need to change.” All the Coach said was, “I will help you.”
My fifth change had to do with watching and praying. I am often so busy thinking my own thoughts, and writing my own opinions in sermons and blogs, that I forget to stop and get perspective. Watching, my Coach said, is watching for God … watch Him work in people’s lives, watch Him give signs for His intentions, and watch Him bring peace where there was no peace. The Coach also made a strong point to me about a prayerless Christian is a Christian who has no trust in God. Ouch, I felt that one.
I wasn’t prepared for this next change I needed. My Coach was very kind and patient with me as He unpacked how I needed to be more aware of how I was being seduced. The art of seduction is what the world around us does best. It knows how to create the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life with such precision, that it is hard to detect. Seduction isn't always sexual which is what often is associated with this word. Seduction has to do with wrong ideas, attitudes that are prideful, careless spending, entertained by the wrong things, and the seduction of faithless pursuits that only take us away from serving God. This change was harder for me to hear than some of the others. Preparing my heart to always enter the narrow gate in life, rather than entering the broad gate, takes discernment, and a heart of obedience.
Finally, my Coach ended with this one. He said He could go on (and no doubt He could), but He ended with one word … surrender. He said no one really can understand God or receive God’s best without the willingness to surrender to Him. Of course, I knew this change is something we have to do every day, and the Coach confirmed it. It is not easy to surrender because our will is to do our thing, not His. Yet, I need to surrender so that I can make the other changes that My Coach recommended.
I started this experiment to get a personal trainer from the Holy Spirit, and it worked. He has become a closer friend to my training as a disciple. I love His kind but persuasive spirit, and at the end of the day, I know I am in good hands. He no longer is just words to me on the pages of the Bible. He wakes me in the morning with all kinds of words for my day. He has become my personal friend.
Challenging the Culture with Truth … Larry Kutzler